'S*** happens' bumper stickers used to say.

Over the years I've seen that phrase turned on its head, 'Grace happens.'

Both are real. Bad things still happen to us individually and in the church. Grace remains a constant gift from God.

Conflict happens too. Church conflict is inevitable. While we may want to avoid it like the plague, we must engage in it with confidence and a degree of fairness. Grace still happens, even in conflict.

Here's the thing though, you can't experience true grace, Christ centered forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation...you can't experience true community, without conflict. Marriage and family therapists, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott say, 'Conflict is the price you pay for a deepened sense of intimacy.'

They are right. Without conflict, church becomes a pseudo community where people are afraid to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas...their real selves at the risk of offending someone. Church becomes a place where the 'shiny, happy people' gather instead of the gathering of 'notorious sinners' redeemed and made new by Christ, by the grace and love of God, and the grace and love of others in the body of Christ.

Risk being yourself in church. Share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. But do so with humility, generosity, and courage. There may be push back from others. Embrace the push back knowing that on the other side of the conflict is true unity, true community, a place where grace truly happens.

When you think of the U.S. Navy SEALs, what comes to mind for you?

Do you think about Demi Moore who played Jordan O Neill, a female senator who enrolls in SEAL training, in the movie G.I. Jane?

Do you picture in you minds eye a tough guy that can do anything?

Do you picture an improviser?

Navy SEALs are the best of the best. The twenty six weeks of training they undergo weeds out the best athletes. Only 19-20% of those who enter the training will complete it. There is no question that Navy SEALS are the most disciplined, physically in shape, and dedicated persons in the armed forces.

As a leader, I am quite certain that the people you lead do not look at you as the toughest of the bunch. As a pastor, there are certainly much tougher men in the congregation I serve. Maybe you are the most intelligent of those you lead. The question isn’t always toughness or intelligence levels. Tough guys and academic degrees are a dime a dozen. What separates leaders from those he or she leads is the ability to improvise; to adjust to things beyond his or her control.

'When given a task that seems impossible the SEAL learns he has to improvise to find a solution,' writes Ron White who conducts 'Mind of a U.S. Navy SEAL' seminars with a friend of his, an eight year veteran of the U.S. Navy SEALs, T.C. Cummings.

Boxing legend Mike Tyson said something similar, 'Everybody's got plans...until they get hit.'

Life happens. Obstacles occur regularly before each of us which go beyond our ability to muscle through or think our way through a problem. The ability to improvise when obstacles present themselves, when we’re faced with the unknown solution, when we’re feeling frightened by the inevitable storms of life, separates leaders from followers.

Improvisation teaches people how to work well with others, think on his or her feet, to trust gut instincts, and to adapt with change with grace and confidence.

Looking for a way to improve your leadership skills, join an improv class in your area.

Or, get your colleagues together and host one of the Group Mind 'Your Leadership...Improvised' seminars. Go to the 'Programs' page to find out more.